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*I only changed a few lines in it otherwise it’s in it’s original form* WAR IS A SCIENCE From the musical Pippin HOOK War is a science With rules to be applied Which good pirates appreciate Recall and recapitulate Before they go decimate The other side Now, *cough* gentlemen, this is the plan for today’s skirmish. Peter Pan, the enemy, is stationed on the hill. So we’ve got to bring him down here, and this is How we will. *Shows them all a map* Some of you in the ravine (That’s this area in green) Will move across the valley where they plainly can be seen And the enemy (in blue - it’s in the song) will undoubtedly pursue For that’s what you depend on the enemy to do Then guarantee their folly We’ll bring Long Tom into play Who will fire just one shot And retire to point “A” And then, and then, And *cough* gentlemen, and then.... SMEE And then the men go dashing out into the fray Conquering the enemy and carrying the day Hark! The blood is pounding in our ears Jubilations! We can hear a grateful nation’s Cheers! HOOK Smee! Sit down immediately! Now where was I? Ah, yes.... War is a science A breeding ground for brains For though you cannot write your names The men whose pen have brought them fame Will write endless paragraphs explaining My campaign Now when the foe see us pirates marching Through the lea They will mount a charge and meet us at the point I’ve labeled “B” {points this out on the map} And his swordmen on the hill (In yellow on the map) Will leave their posts to join the rest and fall Into our trap Then we’ll cut off reinforcements and retreat Of any kind Bearing principles of enfilade and defilade in mind And if all the plays we pick to really Work to bring to pass occur We won’t just have a victory We’ll have ourselves a massacre And then, and then And *cough* gentlemen, and then.... SMEE And then the men go dashing out into the fray Conquering the enemy and carrying the day Hark! The blood is pounding in our ears Jubilation’s! We can hear a grateful nation’s Cheers! HOOK SMEE! In conclusion men.... Now listen to me closely I’ll endeavor to explain What separates a charlatan from a Charlemagne A rule confessed by pirates illustrious and various Though pompous as a Pompey or daring as a Darius A simple rule that every good man knows by heart It’s smarter to be lucky than it’s lucky to be smart And if the fates feel frivolous And all our plans they smother Well support this war does shrivel us There’ll also be another And then..... ALL And then.... HOOK And gentlemen, and then Now gentle men....NOW! ALL And then the men go dashing out into the fray Conquering the enemy and carrying the day Hark! The blood is pounding in our ears Jubilations! We can hear a grateful nation’s Cheers! Back
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